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July 28, 2005with love, from Vanessa&AnnaHe began in the suspect corners of his mind, determined to unearth the core. When he looked upon the world, he saw just difference and division. Ever aware of nonequilibrium, and the lack of peace, he looked inside and out for unity and, finding none, despaired. The civilized life did not sit well within his chest. He questioned productivity and wealth in light of life, and how to reconcile the contradictions of his own existence. Bridging outrage and acceptance, he had accepted much and sacrificed much more, in order for the future sacrifice to flow from fingertips as easily as raindrops in a storm. For he was not the only one to think of. There was the one originally built to care for him and three related beauties. He had giant dreams of caring fully for these four. He turned toward a beast that, unpredictable, did grant his wish. He milked the great cow, and from her udders poured such liquid gold, heavy in the pails that weighed him down on either side. His goal was clear: obtain a fine degree for pure survival. Questions of fulfillment come after uncertainty's secured. The key world, always: opportunity. The end to chance and chaos, mayhem put to rest, the moment when he's free to breathe... He journeyed on, wanting, along the way, to reach out just beyond the road and touch a miracle that was not meant for him. But, hands secured at sides by heavy pails, he journeyed on, bearing the scarlet M, not knowing where the road would end... *** Days became mind exercises, play with probability. Always the calculating kind, his tool meticulous, he understood the balance necesary to unite the world. He yearned to spread his mathematics and spread it right, refused to be a pawn in this marathon of life, instead sent signals of intelligence, between the new world ages he slipped in quietly. He was half man and half amazing, aspiring to be a god. With speech as hammer, he attacked the world with warlike cries, searching continuously for the truth. But there was no initial truth, because there was no way to know it, and in this void he knew just one way to unite the world: through economic change and human force and human love. New contradictions opened there: how could he mobilize the masses, inspire all to love, without love of his own? What hope for one fresh out of it and fresh out of it? Where would such a man obtain a smile? And how? These questions, deep and many, peppered daily thoughts. He took some time to think things through, remembering the bitter... But different undercurrents flowed as strong, and he could not resist the sweet. In simple terms: the crepes, nutella-filled, and chocolate And other wisdom animated life. He knew: it is the soul that is immortal. He stayed with friends in spirits and wrote his loves long phrases, started writing out pure fables, publishing them bit by bit. In rich resonance and reciprocity, remonstrance surging strong, into his poet's fire he poured fernandes rum. He took the Wendell Holmes advice: a music bath each week for several seasons, it is to the soul what water bath is to the body. To reggae dancehall soca, to wutang violins, the ill flow, knowing this was excellent, dance for the heart. He felt the ebbs and tides of song, the cadences... And, suddenly, his mental clutter quietly receded, the insignificant concerns faded away. He heard his own self think for kicks, for beautiful ideas without sense... And that is when he saw her. Glorious, she stood there waiting... but for what? For him to find. Head clutched in hands and looking heavenward, he whispered to the sun and to himself, "She is sooooooo HOT!" He began in a new land. He began with a smile... |
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